These bunch of fucks are unbelievable. I have many problems with my Blackberry Storm phone. (See here)
The phone is an absolute bag of wank and incapable of doing anything other than making sure my napkin doesn't blow away whilst I'm out having a lovely picnic. I decided enough was enough and thought I'd make a claim against my insurance.
I eventually got put through to the insurance bods where I was dealt with by the most ignorant, facetious cunt I've ever spoken to. He basically told me I'd dropped the phone in water, or dropped and realised there was a problem the day before, at lunchtime, whilst I was at home. Please note he did ask if I had dropped the phone, he TOLD me what had happened.
The claim was successful and I can get the piece of shit repaired, but that's not the reason for this blog.
I sent a shitty email to Vodafone informing them that their insurance company employ people that are basically incapable of working in the public domain. I don't know what I expected in return, but I felt like they had to know.
I had the reply today and it is absolutely brilliant!!
Check out he grammar and spelling on this bad boy:
Firstly allow me to apologise that you were receiving issues with your handset, which was then greeted by the poor customer service from Marsh insurance.
This is of Corse is not how we wish our customers to Esperance calling 191.
As a further apology I have placed 3 months half price line rental on you're account for the inconvenience.
What the fuck does 'Esperance' mean? And whats with all the capital letters in the middle of sentences? Back in the day, when I learnt how to read and write we only used capital letters at the start of sentences, or for names and so on.
Esperance is so far from being correct that a spell checker won't even bring up the correct word!!
First thought was this had come through some 'non-UK' office, but unfortunately the sender of this mail had a VERY English sounding name.
I'm now very tempted to send an email back, advising the sender to invest in a spell checker on their email program to stop them making such rudimentary mistakes in the future. Cos no one wants to look like a cock. And at the moment this bell sniff looks like a cock!
Wednesday 16 December 2009
Monday 21 September 2009
Subway
Subway.
What a fucking shithole.
When everyone started bumming off this gaff a few years ago, I was one of the few that stood their ground and registered anger and disgust at what these people were doing.
Meatballs on a sandwich? What the fuck is up with that? Did no one ever mention that NOTHING spherical belongs on a sandwich? The sandwich in question is the 'Meatball Marinara'. The word Marinara derives from the Italian Marinaro, meaning 'of the sea'. I 100% DO NOT want to ever eat the 'Meatball of the Sea'. Thanks, but no thanks.
For this very reason I avoided this place like the plague for a very long time, but eventually I decided to 'pop in' and try something from there. I ordered a 6 inch sub, a cookie and cup of coffee, and it set me back FAR more than a maccies. I was shocked and appalled.
After this visit I was disturbed further by the trays of meat they have knocking about and the fact you can ask for a 12 incher in there. Wrong.
Today, I returned again for lunch as all other avenues of lunchtime dining have become old and stale. This time I was even more horrified. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich (or sub, if you wish to use the correct terminology.)
First off I was asked if I wanted cheese on it. Do I look like some kind of starving animal that will eat any old shite? Although, by the very fact I was in there, I guess I probably did, but I digress. She slapped all the salad on the roll, then asked if I wanted any sauces or the like on it. I asked for some salad cream and she repeated what she thought she had heard. What she said was 'Weston Sauce' (I don't think English was her native tongue!). What in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ is Weston Sauce, and why would I want it on a sandwich?!? It sounds like something you'd put in the engine of your car for God's sake. I said again that I wanted a bit of salad cream, and this time she informed me that they didn't do salad cream, whilst looking at me like i'd shat on her kids on Christmas morning.
What kind of upstanding sandwich based food emporium doesn't do salad cream?? I ended up opting for a little bit of mayo, and watched her empty half a squeezy bottle of the shit all over the place. At this point I was nearly blind with both rage and disgust at what I was getting myself involved in, but then it got worse.
The chicken came.
She went to some kind of little oven, and pulled out a small oblong shaped thing wrapped in what looked like bog roll. From this package, she extracted the 'meat', and bundled it all over the bap.
I hastily paid the half-breed manning the till and made a sharp exit.
At no point had I ordered warm chicken. At no point had I ordered food to be served out of toilet roll. At no point had I asked for cheese on my salad sandwich (cheese, in my eyes is neither salad, or chicken). At no point shall I ever return to Subway.
I had reservations about this place, and after just 2 visits, everything I ever thought about the joint has been proved correct. 1-0 to me!
What a fucking shithole.
When everyone started bumming off this gaff a few years ago, I was one of the few that stood their ground and registered anger and disgust at what these people were doing.
Meatballs on a sandwich? What the fuck is up with that? Did no one ever mention that NOTHING spherical belongs on a sandwich? The sandwich in question is the 'Meatball Marinara'. The word Marinara derives from the Italian Marinaro, meaning 'of the sea'. I 100% DO NOT want to ever eat the 'Meatball of the Sea'. Thanks, but no thanks.
For this very reason I avoided this place like the plague for a very long time, but eventually I decided to 'pop in' and try something from there. I ordered a 6 inch sub, a cookie and cup of coffee, and it set me back FAR more than a maccies. I was shocked and appalled.
After this visit I was disturbed further by the trays of meat they have knocking about and the fact you can ask for a 12 incher in there. Wrong.
Today, I returned again for lunch as all other avenues of lunchtime dining have become old and stale. This time I was even more horrified. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich (or sub, if you wish to use the correct terminology.)
First off I was asked if I wanted cheese on it. Do I look like some kind of starving animal that will eat any old shite? Although, by the very fact I was in there, I guess I probably did, but I digress. She slapped all the salad on the roll, then asked if I wanted any sauces or the like on it. I asked for some salad cream and she repeated what she thought she had heard. What she said was 'Weston Sauce' (I don't think English was her native tongue!). What in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ is Weston Sauce, and why would I want it on a sandwich?!? It sounds like something you'd put in the engine of your car for God's sake. I said again that I wanted a bit of salad cream, and this time she informed me that they didn't do salad cream, whilst looking at me like i'd shat on her kids on Christmas morning.
What kind of upstanding sandwich based food emporium doesn't do salad cream?? I ended up opting for a little bit of mayo, and watched her empty half a squeezy bottle of the shit all over the place. At this point I was nearly blind with both rage and disgust at what I was getting myself involved in, but then it got worse.
The chicken came.
She went to some kind of little oven, and pulled out a small oblong shaped thing wrapped in what looked like bog roll. From this package, she extracted the 'meat', and bundled it all over the bap.
I hastily paid the half-breed manning the till and made a sharp exit.
At no point had I ordered warm chicken. At no point had I ordered food to be served out of toilet roll. At no point had I asked for cheese on my salad sandwich (cheese, in my eyes is neither salad, or chicken). At no point shall I ever return to Subway.
I had reservations about this place, and after just 2 visits, everything I ever thought about the joint has been proved correct. 1-0 to me!
Saturday 13 June 2009
Transport for London
It was the England-Andorra game on Wednesday just gone, and the first home game since England has said that it wanted to host the 2018 World Cup, so a good way to show off our new national stadium etc etc.
What do the mugs that work on the tube decide to do? They go on a 48 hour strike. Again. This time they are striking over poor pay and potential job cuts. Join the club! The country is in the middle of the biggest post-war recession and there are job losses/redundancies/cut backs happening everywhere, but these simpletons seem to think that the way to counter act this is to ask for more money.... Again!
Every 6 months or so these idiots will launch several 2 day strikes on the tube, which subsequently causes the capital city to grind to a halt, and after they've done this for an amount of time they will be given more money.
It's not like this job is particularly difficult from what I can see. I mean im no train driver, but all it seems to be is pushing a lever forward to make the thing move, and then pulling it back when you need to slow down/stop. 'Proper' train drivers aren't always asking for more money to do their job, and I really don't know why tube drivers keep getting all this special dispensation for higher salaries. Maybe they've had to have special mole eyes surgically sewn on to their heads so they can see in the dark better? That cant come cheap. Or maybe the household budget on carrots has soared for the same reason.
It really fucks me off that they are essentially holding a city to ransom, because they're aware of the importance of 'keeping London moving'.
They've held these latest strikes without the backing of ASLEF, their union, and the mug in charge has come out in the media saying he was really pleased because they've managed to wreak havoc in the city for 2 days. He really did sound pleased with himself too.
These pricks need to learn from the past. When there were all the miners strikes in the 70s/80s, what eventually happened to the mines? They shut the fuckers down and we imported coal. The decision to do this left us having to import coal as you cant return to a pit once its been shut down. Any one working on the tube who is moaning should be booted out and replaced with some Pole or other person who will gladly step in and do the job for half what they earn now.
Given the option I would gladly sack everyone of them who moaned, and get people that were grateful to have a job, and then spend the money that keeps going on over inflated salaries on improving the infrastructure of the tube.
Or just shut the whole thing down, send all the tramps to live down there (possibly creating a subterranean race of mutated super-tramps) and get another couple of buses with the cash that city would undoubtedly save.
On a side note from that TfL released a statement saying that there would be no extra car parking available at Wembley, no additional public transport laid on, but they would do everything possible to help people get to the stadium. How are they? Not only are they not putting extra transport on, they've 'advised' varying overland services not to stop at Wembley stadium due to the hazard of overcrowding.... What kind of fucking pillock is running this show?!? Also, The FA has spent £500 million on building a stadium that doesn't have adequate car parking 'built in'??? What the hell is wrong with some people!
What do the mugs that work on the tube decide to do? They go on a 48 hour strike. Again. This time they are striking over poor pay and potential job cuts. Join the club! The country is in the middle of the biggest post-war recession and there are job losses/redundancies/cut backs happening everywhere, but these simpletons seem to think that the way to counter act this is to ask for more money.... Again!
Every 6 months or so these idiots will launch several 2 day strikes on the tube, which subsequently causes the capital city to grind to a halt, and after they've done this for an amount of time they will be given more money.
It's not like this job is particularly difficult from what I can see. I mean im no train driver, but all it seems to be is pushing a lever forward to make the thing move, and then pulling it back when you need to slow down/stop. 'Proper' train drivers aren't always asking for more money to do their job, and I really don't know why tube drivers keep getting all this special dispensation for higher salaries. Maybe they've had to have special mole eyes surgically sewn on to their heads so they can see in the dark better? That cant come cheap. Or maybe the household budget on carrots has soared for the same reason.
It really fucks me off that they are essentially holding a city to ransom, because they're aware of the importance of 'keeping London moving'.
They've held these latest strikes without the backing of ASLEF, their union, and the mug in charge has come out in the media saying he was really pleased because they've managed to wreak havoc in the city for 2 days. He really did sound pleased with himself too.
These pricks need to learn from the past. When there were all the miners strikes in the 70s/80s, what eventually happened to the mines? They shut the fuckers down and we imported coal. The decision to do this left us having to import coal as you cant return to a pit once its been shut down. Any one working on the tube who is moaning should be booted out and replaced with some Pole or other person who will gladly step in and do the job for half what they earn now.
Given the option I would gladly sack everyone of them who moaned, and get people that were grateful to have a job, and then spend the money that keeps going on over inflated salaries on improving the infrastructure of the tube.
Or just shut the whole thing down, send all the tramps to live down there (possibly creating a subterranean race of mutated super-tramps) and get another couple of buses with the cash that city would undoubtedly save.
On a side note from that TfL released a statement saying that there would be no extra car parking available at Wembley, no additional public transport laid on, but they would do everything possible to help people get to the stadium. How are they? Not only are they not putting extra transport on, they've 'advised' varying overland services not to stop at Wembley stadium due to the hazard of overcrowding.... What kind of fucking pillock is running this show?!? Also, The FA has spent £500 million on building a stadium that doesn't have adequate car parking 'built in'??? What the hell is wrong with some people!
Saturday 7 March 2009
Disgusting
I'd agreed to meet up with a mate for a drink after work a couple of weeks ago, and as I got to town a little earlier than planned I decided to stop off for a Burger King.
Once i'd finished that I made my way to the pub. Unfortunately I needed to stop off at the toilet on the way there. This is where everything got very nasty.
The toilet absolutely reeked when I went in there. Worse than blokes toilets usually do. I was having to breathe through my mouth only the stench was so bad. WTF had caused such a horrible smell I wondered. It smelt like a sewer.
Then I saw the cause on the floor. Some filthy urchin had decided to curl one off onto the floor. I mean come on.... when does it ever become acceptable to shit on the floor in modern human society? Why did this cretin get almost to the toilet and then decide it looked better on the floor than where it should have gone? What the hell was the thought process behind shitting on the floor? Was it a dare?
'Mate, I dare you to go and shit on the floor in the toilet.'
'OOOOH, yeah cool idea, i'll go do it now! I'll even take a picture of it to prove i've done it'
As disugusting as that sounds, at least there'd be some element of purpose to it. But that also means that the 'shitter' could shit on demand, which would be weird. Which leads me to believe that it must have been some pissed up hobo that in his drunken stupor actually thought he was sat on the toilet.
Needless to say, said toilets have been vetoed until further notice!
Once i'd finished that I made my way to the pub. Unfortunately I needed to stop off at the toilet on the way there. This is where everything got very nasty.
The toilet absolutely reeked when I went in there. Worse than blokes toilets usually do. I was having to breathe through my mouth only the stench was so bad. WTF had caused such a horrible smell I wondered. It smelt like a sewer.
Then I saw the cause on the floor. Some filthy urchin had decided to curl one off onto the floor. I mean come on.... when does it ever become acceptable to shit on the floor in modern human society? Why did this cretin get almost to the toilet and then decide it looked better on the floor than where it should have gone? What the hell was the thought process behind shitting on the floor? Was it a dare?
'Mate, I dare you to go and shit on the floor in the toilet.'
'OOOOH, yeah cool idea, i'll go do it now! I'll even take a picture of it to prove i've done it'
As disugusting as that sounds, at least there'd be some element of purpose to it. But that also means that the 'shitter' could shit on demand, which would be weird. Which leads me to believe that it must have been some pissed up hobo that in his drunken stupor actually thought he was sat on the toilet.
Needless to say, said toilets have been vetoed until further notice!
Sunday 1 March 2009
Whitworths
Found this on my computer not long ago and thought it would be best good to put on here until I have compiled my next bunch of thoughts.... They are on the way!!
Whitworth's Limited
Orchard House
Irthlingborough
Wellingborough
Northants
NN9 5DB
Dear Sir or Madam,
I was at work the other day when I had a brainwave I thought you may be interested in hearing. Working in a supermarket I saw your 'Craisins' on sale not long ago and this got me thinking about other dried fruit combo ideas that have yet to be exploited. I feel there is a gaping hole in the market for things like this so I got my thinking cap on.
We've all heard about sweet and sour but what about sweet and salty? This led me to come up with my idea for 'Salt-anas'. Simply standard sultanas rolled in delicious salt. I set about trying the idea myself, but my attempts - and excuse the pun - were fruitless. I decided I needed professional help. From my research i deduced that the sultanas will first need to be rolled in some kind of fixant in order for the salt to gain enough purchase to the fruit.
After the runaway success of 'Craisins' I feel this idea could be a splendid little earner, and the opportunity to get in first on this area of the market. I also hasten to add that all the sodium based hype in the media at the moment has paved the way for this snack. I hope you find my idea and my research helpful., and await your response.
Yours faithfully,
Kenny Baxter.
Whitworth's Limited
Orchard House
Irthlingborough
Wellingborough
Northants
NN9 5DB
Dear Sir or Madam,
I was at work the other day when I had a brainwave I thought you may be interested in hearing. Working in a supermarket I saw your 'Craisins' on sale not long ago and this got me thinking about other dried fruit combo ideas that have yet to be exploited. I feel there is a gaping hole in the market for things like this so I got my thinking cap on.
We've all heard about sweet and sour but what about sweet and salty? This led me to come up with my idea for 'Salt-anas'. Simply standard sultanas rolled in delicious salt. I set about trying the idea myself, but my attempts - and excuse the pun - were fruitless. I decided I needed professional help. From my research i deduced that the sultanas will first need to be rolled in some kind of fixant in order for the salt to gain enough purchase to the fruit.
After the runaway success of 'Craisins' I feel this idea could be a splendid little earner, and the opportunity to get in first on this area of the market. I also hasten to add that all the sodium based hype in the media at the moment has paved the way for this snack. I hope you find my idea and my research helpful., and await your response.
Yours faithfully,
Kenny Baxter.
Tuesday 24 February 2009
Created a Twitter account the other week, as this site now seems to be 'where its at' on the Internet.Although no one I know uses it, i'd heard a lot of people going on about it, including Chris Moyles and Phillip Schofield waffling on about it on Radio 1.
Upon creation of my new account it gave me the option to invite the people from my MSN Messenger. I hate it when sites do this as out of the 80 or so people I have on there I only know about a dozen of them, and only speak regularly to maybe half that dozen.
I skipped inviting everyone I've ever spoken to once on msn and was presented with the next page. This is where it all started to fall down (as if it wasn't doing so before I reached this point!)I put that I was monkeying about on there for the first time, but I was following no one and no one was following me, so my comment seemed to be a bit redundant. How do I go about getting people to follow me or take an active interest on what im doing minute by minute. Maybe I should have invited all the randoms on my msn? I started following Chris Moyles and from looking at his shizzle, I tracked down Schofield and starting monitoring him too.
On a disturbing side note I don't like the fact that Schofield refers to himself as 'Schofe' and seems to update from his pc/phone/anything else that has an internet connection! And as he follows and replys to more people than I do, you only ever get his side of the conversation. It's very confusing and generally pointless.
I got bored after this so I went back to doing one of the other pointless activities i carry out daily to pass my time, and thought nothing else of twitter until the other day. I had an email saying Rod Hull (d.) was following me. This made me laugh out loud and after telling everyone within ear shot that 'The Hull' was following me I logged on to twitter.
I was somewhat disappointed to find that Rod hadn't taken an interest in my status updates from beyond the grave, and was in fact some kind of strange deviant who was writing posts about nurses and mooses. I followed him anyways, just cos I was still feeling like I was missing the point somehow with this website, then made some remark about what I was doing at the time and logged off again.
Since then some of the randoms I never speak to on msn seem to have jumped on the bandwagon as i've had mails saying that im now being followed by them and judging by their lack of commenting on what they are doing, they don't get it either. I've also started following Stephen Fry as every else in the world seems to be doing so, and enjoy reading regular updates about his whale watching escapades :s
I also have some random following me that keeps putting tinyurl links in his comments (I learnt long ago to NEVER click a tinyurl link!!) and some kid who seems desperate to get everyone to follow him and read his inane, banal updates minute by minute over the weekend, (think he has school during the week so his 'Twitting' is limited!)
I dunno, maybe I am missing the point of this website, but I feel the need to write something ridiculous in there like interfering with wombats rather than update my loyal followers with what I am doing at the time. are peoples lives really so empty that they need to monitor what everyone else is doing all the time? Am I really that arsed what somebody who I have no idea who they are is doing at any given moment? Im gonna persevere with it for a little longer before chucking it on the scrapheap with all the other rubbish thats been churned out of the Internet since it's conception :)
Upon creation of my new account it gave me the option to invite the people from my MSN Messenger. I hate it when sites do this as out of the 80 or so people I have on there I only know about a dozen of them, and only speak regularly to maybe half that dozen.
I skipped inviting everyone I've ever spoken to once on msn and was presented with the next page. This is where it all started to fall down (as if it wasn't doing so before I reached this point!)I put that I was monkeying about on there for the first time, but I was following no one and no one was following me, so my comment seemed to be a bit redundant. How do I go about getting people to follow me or take an active interest on what im doing minute by minute. Maybe I should have invited all the randoms on my msn? I started following Chris Moyles and from looking at his shizzle, I tracked down Schofield and starting monitoring him too.
On a disturbing side note I don't like the fact that Schofield refers to himself as 'Schofe' and seems to update from his pc/phone/anything else that has an internet connection! And as he follows and replys to more people than I do, you only ever get his side of the conversation. It's very confusing and generally pointless.
I got bored after this so I went back to doing one of the other pointless activities i carry out daily to pass my time, and thought nothing else of twitter until the other day. I had an email saying Rod Hull (d.) was following me. This made me laugh out loud and after telling everyone within ear shot that 'The Hull' was following me I logged on to twitter.
I was somewhat disappointed to find that Rod hadn't taken an interest in my status updates from beyond the grave, and was in fact some kind of strange deviant who was writing posts about nurses and mooses. I followed him anyways, just cos I was still feeling like I was missing the point somehow with this website, then made some remark about what I was doing at the time and logged off again.
Since then some of the randoms I never speak to on msn seem to have jumped on the bandwagon as i've had mails saying that im now being followed by them and judging by their lack of commenting on what they are doing, they don't get it either. I've also started following Stephen Fry as every else in the world seems to be doing so, and enjoy reading regular updates about his whale watching escapades :s
I also have some random following me that keeps putting tinyurl links in his comments (I learnt long ago to NEVER click a tinyurl link!!) and some kid who seems desperate to get everyone to follow him and read his inane, banal updates minute by minute over the weekend, (think he has school during the week so his 'Twitting' is limited!)
I dunno, maybe I am missing the point of this website, but I feel the need to write something ridiculous in there like interfering with wombats rather than update my loyal followers with what I am doing at the time. are peoples lives really so empty that they need to monitor what everyone else is doing all the time? Am I really that arsed what somebody who I have no idea who they are is doing at any given moment? Im gonna persevere with it for a little longer before chucking it on the scrapheap with all the other rubbish thats been churned out of the Internet since it's conception :)
Monday 23 February 2009
Takeaways
So we ordered a takeaway the other week from the Thai restaurant up the road. I'd heard some good reviews about it so we decided to go for it. I ordered a beef penang and some sticky rice, and my girlfriend ordered some minced shizzle in lettuce leaves.
The prices were quite reasonable, and we waited patiently for the delivery man to arrive. (We still carried on watching tv etc, we didn't just sit there waiting. That would be weird)
After about 20 minutes there was a knock on the door, so my girlfriend went to pay the dude and grab the food. Upon opening the door there was the tiniest Thai bloke you could ever imagine, dragging some kind of plastic cool box with food in it behind him. Normally when you order a pizza or something you take the food off the guy at the door and give him the owed monies. But in this case, this little guy was inside the house in a flash. And I mean like 100% inside. Not on the porch or just had a foot in the door so to speak. He plonked his cool box down on the floor and started handing out food like some kind of aid worker.
He was laughing and smiling as he was doing this and telling us how he couldnt find the house and how his wife had given him the wrong directions to get here.
Our place is about a 15 minute walk away from this restaurant and is essentially a straight line from A to B, so how he got lost is a mystery.
He finally finished his cup of tea, put his shoes and coat back on and went and we ate the food, which was very very nice, but I was deeply upset by him coming into the house like he did. He broke some unwritten law that states delivery people should never enter the customers house.
The other week we decided to call out again for food from this place cos it was so good. I was also curious to see if this crazy guy would do it again.
He managed to find the house without getting lost this time which was an improvement, but when I opened the door he was all of a sudden even more in the house than last time. He actually left the hall way area and entered a room. I gave him the money while he was doing his Red Cross bit again and tried to usher him out of the house again.
I think should we ever order from there again, I will have to stand outside the house, hidden away until he arrives. Once he has dropped off the food, I will then produce one of them shepherds crook things and hook him the hell out of our house and boot him back into his car.
I mean honestly, where do people get off just strolling into other peoples houses and stuff... Just give me the food and go. Don't come in and start saying how cold it is, and how nice and warm it is in OUR house. Jesus Christ.
The prices were quite reasonable, and we waited patiently for the delivery man to arrive. (We still carried on watching tv etc, we didn't just sit there waiting. That would be weird)
After about 20 minutes there was a knock on the door, so my girlfriend went to pay the dude and grab the food. Upon opening the door there was the tiniest Thai bloke you could ever imagine, dragging some kind of plastic cool box with food in it behind him. Normally when you order a pizza or something you take the food off the guy at the door and give him the owed monies. But in this case, this little guy was inside the house in a flash. And I mean like 100% inside. Not on the porch or just had a foot in the door so to speak. He plonked his cool box down on the floor and started handing out food like some kind of aid worker.
He was laughing and smiling as he was doing this and telling us how he couldnt find the house and how his wife had given him the wrong directions to get here.
Our place is about a 15 minute walk away from this restaurant and is essentially a straight line from A to B, so how he got lost is a mystery.
He finally finished his cup of tea, put his shoes and coat back on and went and we ate the food, which was very very nice, but I was deeply upset by him coming into the house like he did. He broke some unwritten law that states delivery people should never enter the customers house.
The other week we decided to call out again for food from this place cos it was so good. I was also curious to see if this crazy guy would do it again.
He managed to find the house without getting lost this time which was an improvement, but when I opened the door he was all of a sudden even more in the house than last time. He actually left the hall way area and entered a room. I gave him the money while he was doing his Red Cross bit again and tried to usher him out of the house again.
I think should we ever order from there again, I will have to stand outside the house, hidden away until he arrives. Once he has dropped off the food, I will then produce one of them shepherds crook things and hook him the hell out of our house and boot him back into his car.
I mean honestly, where do people get off just strolling into other peoples houses and stuff... Just give me the food and go. Don't come in and start saying how cold it is, and how nice and warm it is in OUR house. Jesus Christ.
Lungfish
We'd decided to visit Chester Zoo. While there I encountered numerous comical and undoubtedly enjoyable beasts, including a plethora of primates and various styles of dromedary.
Then we reached the aquarium. This is where the day took a sour turn for the worse. While there were a number of interesting creatures within this building, the last tank contained the monstrosity mentioned above.
The Lungfish. A fish with no real fins in which to help it swim and can apparently drown due to its 'rudimentary' lungs. It was about two foot long and looked like a motionless piece of sewer shit with eyes on it. They can apparently survive on land for a short time should the waters receded, long enough for them to 'walk' on their fin-legs to the next brackish, stagnant oasis in which they seem to make their homes. BUT! They will drown if they remain in places like this for too long as their is not enough oxygen within these pools of filth for them to 'breathe'.
I had and still have several issues with this.
The stupid animal has managed to evolve rudimentary lungs in which to help it maintain it's fucked up, inconsistent, land/water daily habits. It needs to make it's mind up and realise that if it's to evolve the necessary equipment in which to live on land, then it may also have been a brainwave to evolve proper legs to allow it to move about on it, and not run the risk of suffocating.
Instead of this it has shit stumpy fin things, that from what I could see, only inhibits movements whilst underwater and prevents correct and timely motion whilst on land. It's some kind of massive, fucked up fishtard.
I left the aquarium once again feeling angry and confused. My delight of seeing a mini turtle and slight repulsion of seeing fish with no eyes (another story) had been replaced by anger and disgust.
It's another reason chalked up on the reasons not to believe in God board as far as i'm concerned. Along with wasps on slugs. What God would create things like this? What God would allow such a hideous, pointless, turgid mess to exist?
It's crooked and it stinks.
Then we reached the aquarium. This is where the day took a sour turn for the worse. While there were a number of interesting creatures within this building, the last tank contained the monstrosity mentioned above.
The Lungfish. A fish with no real fins in which to help it swim and can apparently drown due to its 'rudimentary' lungs. It was about two foot long and looked like a motionless piece of sewer shit with eyes on it. They can apparently survive on land for a short time should the waters receded, long enough for them to 'walk' on their fin-legs to the next brackish, stagnant oasis in which they seem to make their homes. BUT! They will drown if they remain in places like this for too long as their is not enough oxygen within these pools of filth for them to 'breathe'.
I had and still have several issues with this.
The stupid animal has managed to evolve rudimentary lungs in which to help it maintain it's fucked up, inconsistent, land/water daily habits. It needs to make it's mind up and realise that if it's to evolve the necessary equipment in which to live on land, then it may also have been a brainwave to evolve proper legs to allow it to move about on it, and not run the risk of suffocating.
Instead of this it has shit stumpy fin things, that from what I could see, only inhibits movements whilst underwater and prevents correct and timely motion whilst on land. It's some kind of massive, fucked up fishtard.
I left the aquarium once again feeling angry and confused. My delight of seeing a mini turtle and slight repulsion of seeing fish with no eyes (another story) had been replaced by anger and disgust.
It's another reason chalked up on the reasons not to believe in God board as far as i'm concerned. Along with wasps on slugs. What God would create things like this? What God would allow such a hideous, pointless, turgid mess to exist?
It's crooked and it stinks.
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