Disgusting

I'd agreed to meet up with a mate for a drink after work a couple of weeks ago, and as I got to town a little earlier than planned I decided to stop off for a Burger King.
Once i'd finished that I made my way to the pub. Unfortunately I needed to stop off at the toilet on the way there. This is where everything got very nasty.

The toilet absolutely reeked when I went in there. Worse than blokes toilets usually do. I was having to breathe through my mouth only the stench was so bad. WTF had caused such a horrible smell I wondered. It smelt like a sewer.

Then I saw the cause on the floor. Some filthy urchin had decided to curl one off onto the floor. I mean come on.... when does it ever become acceptable to shit on the floor in modern human society? Why did this cretin get almost to the toilet and then decide it looked better on the floor than where it should have gone? What the hell was the thought process behind shitting on the floor? Was it a dare?

'Mate, I dare you to go and shit on the floor in the toilet.'

'OOOOH, yeah cool idea, i'll go do it now! I'll even take a picture of it to prove i've done it'

As disugusting as that sounds, at least there'd be some element of purpose to it. But that also means that the 'shitter' could shit on demand, which would be weird. Which leads me to believe that it must have been some pissed up hobo that in his drunken stupor actually thought he was sat on the toilet.

Needless to say, said toilets have been vetoed until further notice!

Whitworths

Found this on my computer not long ago and thought it would be best good to put on here until I have compiled my next bunch of thoughts.... They are on the way!!

Whitworth's Limited
Orchard House
Irthlingborough
Wellingborough
Northants
NN9 5DB


Dear Sir or Madam,

I was at work the other day when I had a brainwave I thought you may be interested in hearing. Working in a supermarket I saw your 'Craisins' on sale not long ago and this got me thinking about other dried fruit combo ideas that have yet to be exploited. I feel there is a gaping hole in the market for things like this so I got my thinking cap on.

We've all heard about sweet and sour but what about sweet and salty? This led me to come up with my idea for 'Salt-anas'. Simply standard sultanas rolled in delicious salt. I set about trying the idea myself, but my attempts - and excuse the pun - were fruitless. I decided I needed professional help. From my research i deduced that the sultanas will first need to be rolled in some kind of fixant in order for the salt to gain enough purchase to the fruit.

After the runaway success of 'Craisins' I feel this idea could be a splendid little earner, and the opportunity to get in first on this area of the market. I also hasten to add that all the sodium based hype in the media at the moment has paved the way for this snack. I hope you find my idea and my research helpful., and await your response.

Yours faithfully,

Kenny Baxter.